Released: 2019
Director: David Winning
Writers: Samantha Herman and Melissa de la Cruz
Stars: Erin Krakow, Luke Macfarlane, Kimberley Sustad and Jason McKinnon
Watch it: Stack TV on Amazon Prime, Hallmark on the W Network.
Holiday score: 6
Take your typical holiday activities then add toys and...you still only get a six.
Romance score: 5
We have not just one, but two awkward love stories to follow here. Neither are great, but add them together and you get a decent score.
Comedy score: 1
Some terrible acting and hilarious voice dubbing take away from the funny awkward conversations.
Today I am reviewing the movie Sense, Sensibility & Snowmen. Of all the parts of this movie, the name was the most disappointing. It is so misleading. With a name like this, I hoped for a movie more like Pride, Prejudice and Zombies. I fully expected a movie set in Victorian England where a father passes away and leaves his two daughters poor and alone. Fortunately they are experts with a flame thrower and they earn a living killing the zombie snowmen who have infested the countryside. And then they fall in love, but not with the snowmen, that would be a ridiculous story.
No, Sense, Sensibility & Snowmen is a story about two sisters, Ella Dashwood played by Erin Krakow and Marianne Dashwood played by Kimberley Sustad. Their father does pass away, leaving them the family party planning business. Marianne is the sensible, hard working sister who knows how to run the business. Ella is the free-spirited and non-committal sister who has been living on Marianne’s couch for a YEAR. Mariane says Ella can stay as long as she likes, but you know she ain’t happy about it. Well, I’m sorry girlfriend, but that’s on you. You want her out, you kick her sorry tush to the curb.
To finalize the transfer of their father’s business, Ella and Marianne head over to a lawyer’s office. While waiting for Marianne to arrive, Ella is hit on by a handsome gentleman named Edward Ferris, played by Luke Macfarlane. Edward makes his best play, but it’s awkward all around and he leaves with his tail between his legs. Edward is handsome and successful, but his game is like a fruitcake. It’s chewy, gross and nobody wants it.
The girls then meet the lawyer Brandon Williams, played by Jason McKinnon. During this meeting, Marianne and Brandon engage in the most awkward flirting I have ever seen in any movie...ever...and I’ve seen Napoleon Dynamite a dozen times. It was like Brandon saw Edward’s pass at Ella and said, “You think that was awkward? I can make Napoleon Dynamite look like James Bond.” It was truly cringe-worthy, but mostly in The Office kind of way, so I mostly enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed Marianne giving Brandon a good once-over and mentally saying, “Ho, ho, ho. Mmm-mmm” like she was eyeing up a gingerbread cookie.
Speaking of things that should never be said, at one point in the movie, Edward actually says, “Ho, ho, ho. Mmm-mmm” about a Christmas cookie and it is unintentionally the funniest part of the movie.
So now the girls are the official owners of their father’s party planning business. Ella says she wants to expand the business and take on bigger clients and bigger parties. Marianne says they are fine the way they are. Re-enter Edward Ferris. Like Ella and Marianne, Edward also recently took over as the CEO of his father’s company, Ferris Wheel Toys. Edward is a numbers guy. He loves spreadsheets, graphs, pie charts and integers. Exactly what a toy company CEO should be.
While listening in on Edward’s conversation, as everyone does from time to time, Ella hears Edward talking to his cousin, Brandon (yes, that Brandon), about needing a party planner. Edward needs to impress the owners of a major toy store in Europe and throwing a party is his big plan. Of course Edward, the CEO of the company, is planning this party himself and of course he would ask his cousin for help finding a party planner. Why would he delegate to a VP or anyone else who has some sort of party planning experience? Anyway, Ella sees this as her opportunity to prove to Marianne that they can take on larger clients. Edward is in such a bind so he agrees to let Ella plan his party.
Will the fickle and impulsive Ella pull off the party of the year to help Edward win over his European clients? Edward let’s her use one colour to decorate the party so probably not. Will Ella convince Marianne that they should expand to bigger and better things? Seriously, Edward is so boring that he tells Ella she can decorate with one colour. If she can pull that off, she will be the party planner of the year. Will anyone figure out how to have a conversation that doesn’t make me want to hide my face in my Christmas sweater like a teenager seeing their parents kiss in the kitchen? The real question is, which colour will Ella choose? Ohh, I’m hoping it’s red. Everything in red. I heard red parties are all the rage right now. Well, you’ll have to watch Sense, Sensibility & Snowmen to find out, but I’m not sure you should.
Holi Score: 6
Sense, Sensibility & Snowmen earns a respectable six for its holi score. I’m still disappointed it doesn’t have angry zombie snowmen, but I guess I’ll just have to make that movie myself. I can’t wait to make my own movies and then trash them in my blog.
In this movie we have the standard holiday traditions. Ella and Edward decorate a tree together. It starts off looking like absolute trash, but thanks to the magic of movie editing, it turns out amazing. All four of the main characters attend a tree lighting of an absolute beast of a tree. They all compete in a gingerbread house contest and Edward and Ella make the coolest gingerbread house I have ever seen. High ceilings, French doors and every toilet has an icing bidet.
This movie also has plenty of the most important part of Christmas. Love? Um, no. Family? Wrong again. Eating non-stop for a month? That is important, but still wrong. It’s toys, of course. Edward runs a toy company so there better be toys. Even at my advanced age, if I don’t get a sweet toy I can play with on Christmas morning, I go full Grinch for the rest of the year. Or at least until my birthday.
Then there are the decorations. Ella and Marianne do run a party planning business so the decorations better be bitchin’. Well, they are bitchin' so they did something right. We get to see a few parties they plan and they look pretty great. And, spoiler alert, the party that Ella plans for Edward? He really only let’s her use one colour for the decorations and it turns out amazing and not at all racist. You know...because it was just one colour. Anyway...
Rom Score: 5
Sense, Sensibility & Snowmen has a rom score of five. This movie tries to double its rom score by having two romantic storylines and I’m totally down with that. First we have Edward and Ella. They have the whole opposites attract thing which creates some friction. Ella is fun and Edward is stuffy. Edward is rich and Ella is poor. Ella loves the beauty and joy of Christmas and Edward loves that Christmas makes him rich.
Then we have Marianne and Brandon. Their relationship is like a car accident with freaky clowns on Vespas. It’s weird and awkward, but you just can’t look away. It’s actually more interesting and enjoyable than Edward and Ella’s story. What can I say, I’m a sucker for weirdos.
Com Score: 1
Sense, Sensibility & Snowmen gets a one for com score. With all the intentional awkwardness, this movie should have earned a higher com score, but I had to deduct points because I laughed AT this movie more than I laughed WITH this movie.
My biggest issue was with Edward’s character. Well, it’s not really his character that bugs me as much as it is the acting. Edward is supposed to be a spreadsheet making’, numbers lovin’, logical Spock of a dude. Luke Macfarlane definitely tries to play him that way, but he comes off like he is trying for a cross between Superman and Ron Burgundy. I know that sounds hilarious and unfortunately it totally is. The worst part is his voice. Every phrase sounds he’s a child pretending to be a responsible adult. “Of course I am responsible, can’t you hear it in my deep, serious voice?”
The second issue that made me laugh was the voice over they used for every scene with the European couple. Maybe there happened to be too much background noise whenever this couple spoke. Maybe this background noise was the husband’s terrible flatulence. Maybe the couple’s accent sounded like Kevin Costner in Robin Hood that left you wondering, “Is he using an accent? I swear I hear the hint of an accent, but there is no way the director would let him half-ass an accent like that. Would they? Noooo, but maybe?”
Whatever it was, it ends up sounding like an old kung-fu movie only about Christmas and love and not kung-fu. “You have dis-honored my family with your awkwardness. Now I must destroy you with my love.” Dang, I think I’ve found two amazing movie ideas in this review.
If you are looking for a holi-rom-horror movie about snowmen...then you should probably look somewhere else.
If you are looking for a holi-rom-com with monochromatic decorations, awkward conversations and the odd snowman decoration here and there...then you should watch Sense, Sensibility & Snowmen.
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