Released: 2024
Stars: Lacey Chambert, Dustin Milligan, Craig Robinson, Joe Lo Truglio, Katy Mixon Greer, Lauren Holly, and Allan Royal as "Mortimer"
Where to Watch: Netflix
Review Overview
Holiday score: 8
Any movie where one of the main characters is a Christmas icon, deserves a huge holiday score.
Romance score: 7
The romance between Kathy and Jack is solid, but there is a deeper love that elevates the romance score for this movie, Kathy's love for herself. What does this mean, you ask? Um, no, it's not like that! And definitely not like that. Just read the review.
Comedy score: 8
Forget the holiday and romance, this is a straight up killer of a comedy movie.
The Full Review
Today I am reviewing the movie Hot Frosty, but I feel like I need to take a stand. I need to say that this movie is projecting the idea that women only want a big handsome man with washboard abs and chiseled features. I believe that women are deeper and want more just a guy with a hot bod. Sure they dream about the hot guys and fantasize about being swept off their feet by a self-made millionaire who looks like a gymnast. And sure, they deserve it. But I say that women really want a good guy who makes enough money, but not "real-housewives" money because then you would become a "real-housewife" and nobody wants that. Women want a guy who looks good enough for a second look, but not so hot they won't let him go to the gym alone. And what women really want is someone to warm their cold toes when watching a holiday movie. I'd like to see Hot Frosty do that. Sorry, what's that? Women do want a hot frosty? Fine, here's your review.
If you have a Netflix subscription and enjoy holi-rom-coms then you have been waiting for this movie for at least a month, maybe longer. The trailer makes it look like a saucy little minx of a holiday movie and set pretty high expectations. I watch my share of holi-rom-coms and have become pretty jaded. I totally expected this movie to crash and burn like a Zeppelin. I am sad to report that I was hugely disappointed because the movie was not disappointing. I mean I hated this movie because I really didn't hate it. Look, I'm just trying to say this movie was not a great movie to review because it is a pretty great movie to watch. Oh, whatever, let's get into it.
In Hot Frosty we first meet Kathy played by Lacey Chambert. She is single, but not ready to mingle. She's kind of a hot mess, which the movie does it's best to make her house a metaphor for her life. Her house looks like the scene after a bunch of vagrants held a Christmas craft fair in her house then left before the cops came by. What Kathy really needs is a man who can clean up after her and not melt with hard work.
I wont get into the reasons for Kathy's sadness, just know that she is kind of broken (who of us isn't?), not like the other holi-rom-coms where their huge holiday crisis is whether to move to a small town to marry a hot farmer or stay in the big city to keep crushing their corporate job for a ton of money. "Wah, my life is so hard."
Kathy owns a diner and one day she brings dinner to her mom who owns a clothing store in town. Her mom gives her the old "you've got to get yourself out there" speech. Her exact quote is “Good things come to you when you’re out in the cold, Kathy. Which is why we kicked you out of the house when you were fifteen." Ok, Kathy's mom only said the first part, I added the second part, because I believe Kathy needs more trauma in her life. Oh, I jest.
Kathy's mom gives her a scarf and kicks her out of the store so Kathy heads over to the town snow carving competition where she finds a snow carving of Michelangelo's David. The snowman's actual name is Jack, so I'll call him that from now on. Kathy, being an art lover, decides to give the scarf to Jack and head home. Maybe what Kathy really needs is a man who loves art as much as she does. Actually, if a man loved that snowman carving as much as Kathy did, he probably wouldn't be her type. Just saying.
Well, there must have been some magic in that old knit scarf she had because as soon as she put in on his neck, he began to dance around. OK, he didn't dance around, but he did come to life after Kathy had left and he did act like a drunk college freshman at his first frat kegger and he went streaking. Jack realizes he is naked, only after an unfortunate incident with an elderly couple and a Pomeranian (it's not what you think).
Jack knows his hot bod is too much power to leave out there for everyone to see so he steals some clothes and heads back to the other snowman. The next day Kathy catches Jack on the street, talking to the other snowmen who have not transformed into humans. Kathy assumes Jack is just a little weird and being a kind person, she invites him into her diner for a meal. I'm sure it was all kindness and it had nothing to do with his buns of steel. Normally I would not recommend a single woman invite a strange man in for a meal, but when he looks like this, I say go for it. Hot guys are never murders. Actually, I think that is what Kathy really needs, a guy is isn't a murderer. It's usually a good start.
Kathy decides what Jack really needs is a place to stay so she let's him move in with her. The only way I can explain Kathy's decision to let Jack live with her is that she is so broken, she can't make proper decisions...oh, and I have mentioned Jack's kind of hot? Every movie has that "just go with it" moment, so let's just go with Kathy's reckless decision.
Is Jack here for good or will he melt in the spring like Frosty? Um, forget spring, Jack's so hot, I'm surprised he doesn't turn into the Heat Miser. Will the police catch up to Jack for stealing the clothing and throw him in the hotbox? I hope so because that means more screen time for Craig Robinson and Joe Lo Truglio. Comedy gold! Will Kathy and Jack make a romance like a McDonald's McDLT where the hot side stayed hot and the cold side stayed cold? Maybe, but will it last longer than the McDLT? Is the magic scarf stronger than Frosty's hat? Well, you'll have to watch Hot Frosty to find out and you absolutely should.
Holiday Score: 8
This is an easy one. One of the main characters in this movie is a snowman, a holiday icons. Other holiday icons include Santa Claus (there are plenty of movies about Santa already), Mrs. Claus (a holi-rom-com with Mrs. Claus? Sounds interesting), an elf (yeah, we know that movie already), an elf on the shelf (that would be a weird holi-rom-com), a tannenbaum (would also be weird, but I'd watch it), or any flying reindeer (you had me at flying).
It's a snowman, how much more Christmasy can you get? OK, yeah, it could be Santa, but Frosty is a pretty cool dude. (Go Dad joke!) I'm sorry, is there a winter nerd out there who said there can be snowmen anytime in winter so having a snowman in a movie doesn't definitively say it is a Christmas movie? OK, fine. This movie actually does take place over Christmas, and they decorate a Christmas tree, and they make Christmas cookies, and they have a very short snowball fight. There, is that enough Christmas for you? It is for me and I would have given this movie a higher holiday score, but I had to deduct a full mark because Jack the SNOWMAN throws a snowball like his arm is made of slush and not hardened snow and ice. You know what Kathy really needs is a man who can throw a snowball like a major league pitcher. Yeah, she totally needs that.
Romance Score: 7
I've given this movie a romance score of seven, but if I only scored it on the romance between Kathy and Jack, it would have earned a five. Sure, they flirt and make cookies and dance and bla, bla, bla. The chemistry between them is just fine, but it isn't magical. I want magical. We all want magical. Maybe what Kathy really needs is a man that sparks a fire in her. I'd like to see ol' Frosty do that.
Actually, what Kathy really needs is some self-care. If I was writing this review as a paper for my university English class and not for my own enjoyment (it's definitely not for anyone else's enjoyment), I'd say the real theme of Hot Frosty is Kathy learning to love herself again...and hot guys can pretend to be a snowman and get away with it. Kathy really doesn't need a man at all. She wants a man, but what she really needs is to learn to love herself again. Then she could fall for any guy, including a guy who isn't a walking gym membership. This is actually a pretty special theme that everyone should reflect on. Go ahead and do that now. I'll wait.
Comedy Score: 8
When I saw the trailer for Hot Frosty I thought, "Well here is a hot holiday movie that I can destroy in my blog." When I saw Craig Robinson and Joe Lo Truglio I had a deep conversation with myself. "Will this be a truly entertaining movie?" Yes it was! "Can I laugh with this movie instead of laugh at this movie?" Asked and answered. "Will it be too good for my holi-rom-com reviews?" No, you guys need to know which movies are good too, right. "Are the holi-rom-coms getting too good?" Then I remembered the movie Holiday Breakup and I knew my hobby is safe forever. My friends, this movie delivers the comedy better than nearly every other holi-rom-com out there.
Craig Robinson and Joe Lo Truglio are awesome as the comedic relief, we even get a Craig Robinson song. Brilliant! But they are not the only ones throwing around the funny. We get jokes from everyone and it's great. Forget the holiday and the romance, this is a solid comedy movie. So let's say you are hanging with friends over the holidays, drinking eggnog, singing carols, making snow angels and someone says, "Let's watch a movie." You, being the holi-rom-com nerd that you are, will of course suggest something seasonal like Exmas or Window Wonderland or lovehard. You will of course have a friend who says, "I refuse watch those stupid holiday romance movies. They suck and you suck for watching them." Your first response should be to slap them full on in the face and stare them down with the angriest eyes you can muster. Then you need to consider putting a swarm of bees in their house (mean for the bees, I know) or a honey badger in their car (don't worry, honey badger don't care) or pineapple on their pizza (don't get me started). Third, you should then, in full confidence, suggest the movie Hot Frosty. They will love it and they will thank you and apologize for being a holi-rom-com hater. You will be friends again and you may probably regret ordering a honey badger off Amazon, but I'm sure it isn't the worst Amazon purchase you have made.
Final Thoughts
If you are looking for a holi-rom-com that you can make fun of...you should probably look somewhere else.
If you are looking for a holi-rom-com that delivers the holi and the rom and especially the com...then you should watch Hot Frosty.
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