2017
Director: Ernie Barbarash
Writers: Dinah Eng
Stars: Eliza Taylor, Jake Lacey, Andie McDowell and Mag Ruffman as “Kathy Martin”
Where to watch: Netflix
Holiday Score: 5
Basic holiday stuff.
Romance Score: 7
Characters are good and you want them to end up together.
Comedy Score: 1
It was entertaining...but not funny.
Holiday Inheritance stars Eliza Taylor as Ellen Langford, a rich socialite whose father, Jim Langford played by Neil Crone, owns the multi-million dollar company Home & Hearth Gifts Incorporated. You’re probably saying, “OK, here’s another vanilla flavoured story where a total jerk, rich person learns the true meaning of Christmas from some poor country locals and finds love. Sign me up!”
Well, that description is mostly true, except for the total jerk part. A better word to describe Ellen Langford is naïve. How naïve? Well, Jim is getting a little long in the tooth and is considering retiring from the rat race. Ellen would love to take over as CEO so she takes her Dad out for lunch to apologize for being a party-girl and to butter-up her old man. Here is the interaction between Ellen and her Dad. I’ve included a translation for those who don’t speak rich socialite daughter or wealthy businessman.
Ellen: “I want to prove to you that I’m not just a party-girl...that I can take charge.” Translation: “Dad, I may not have much smarts or experience or a college education, but let’s just forget all that, and the fact that I’ve done nothing my whole life and just give me your multi-million dollar company anyway.”
Jim: “Well, OK, great.”
Translation: “Sure, what the freak do I care? I’m taking everything out of the company and going to Jamaica with your best friend Wendy. I’m sure you’ll run the company into the ground anyway.”
Ellen: “Cool”
Translation: “That was easy. Now shove off old man!”
Jim: “What did you have in mind.”
Translation: “OK, big shot, tell me what you’ve...oh wait, Wendy is texting me.”
Ellen: “Wha...uh...I’m...eee...I haven’t really figured anything out yet. Oh, What if I did another fundraiser for Toys for Tots?”
Translation:”uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I got nothing.”
Jim: “Um, Ellie, sweetie…”
Translation: “Gotcha! I knew you didn’t have anything. Whatever, I’m giving you the company anyway.”
So Jim is concerned. Not about Ellen’s ability to run the company, but about her ability to live like a normal person. Which isn’t actually that bad. While livin’ for the dolla-dolla bills is awesome, so is just being a good person. From what we see of Ellen, she has a much better chance of winning at life than winning at business. (If you’ve read any of my other reviews then you just noticed I just broke my own rule about using the word "winning"). Ellen is basically good. Even at her “worst” partying, it was all for the kids. Drinking shots, flirting with guys, vaulting over toy trains...all for the kids...really.
So here is where we add the spice to the mix. Jim decides that for Ellen to learn what H&H is all about, she needs to go down to Snow Falls to deliver the Christmas letters to “Uncle Zeke”. Uncle Zeke started H&H Gifts with Jim. He also plays in a ska band named Uncle Zeke and the Crackers. He wanted the name Uncle Cracker, but someone else already ruined that name.
The Christmas letters are a way for Zeke and Jim to remember their roots by sending a quick update on the company for the year. They take turns writing the letter and they hand-deliver it to each other in Snow Falls, where the company started. The letters are sweet and just long enough to portray the right sentiment, but not long enough for an actual update on the company. All fluff, I’m shocked this is a multi-million dollar company. They can’t even write a proper company update.
What, you say? That’s not spicy? Well hold on because Jim adds some gingerbread spice to the mix. There are stipulations to the trip. Ellen has to leave that night having only a crisp 100 bill and a round trip ticket to Snow Falls. No credit cards and no one can know who she is. Why? Because how is she supposed to learn anything if everyone is asking her to do eggnog shooters and do hand-spring over Christmas presents?
Want a little more spice? Well, Ellen tells her fiancé about the whole trip and he gives her a hard time. “You can’t go to Snow Falls, we have a vacation planned! Wa-wa-wa! Oh wait, if you do this you’ll inherit the whole company? OK, find, but you better be back for our trip.” You can see what is going to happen, right? Please tell me you see it.
After arriving in Snow Falls she meets the handsome, single small-town man Jake Collins played by Jake Lacey who manages the inn where Ellen stays. Can Ellen leave her party-girl ways behind and learn the true meaning of H&H Gifts Incorporated? Will she connect with Jake, the mysterious local or will she return to her d-bag fiancée? Either way, I think that finding out is worth the time.
Alright, so I have two issues with Christmas Inheritance. First, there are major weather continuity issues. That’s minor, you say? Exactly, it is a minor thing to get the freaking weather continuity right. At one point a major snow storm rolls in that cuts power to part of the town. It is too cold for anyone to stay on the powerless side so they all head to the powered side.
Now, I live in a cold place. We have winter for six to eight months of the year. Seriously, half our year is winter. It sucks, but we make due. It routinely gets down to -40C. To force people out of their homes it has to be cold...really cold...mind numbing cold. The kind of cold that warm clothing just won’t help. The kind of cold where you can take boiling water, throw it in the air outside and it instantly turns to snow. Look it up, it’s a real thing.
This is why it toasts my biscuits that only a few minutes after people are brought to the inn for the night that Jake and Ellen to go for a walk...in the unbelievable cold! Seriously!?! There is no way anyone should be out in that cold, just casually walking along. I guess they assumed our brains are numb enough to not remember that it was just too cold for anyone to be outside, but I remember. Maybe they think we’re just excited that they are going somewhere together. The romance is heating up. Maybe Jake will use the line, “Your hands are cold? Let me warm them for you.” In that cold, it better be in the belly of a ton-ton that he just cut open with his lightsaber.
Then, during one scene, sometimes it snowing hard, then it’s not snowing at all. Sure, I get that weather can change quickly, but you’d have to teleport from New York to the North Pole and back to get that kind of change.
Second, the movie is not funny. It just isn’t. I think they try a couple of times, but zero laughs. None. That is disappointing. I really do prefer holi-rom-coms to just holi-roms. In addition to that, the story is...well...fluffy. Like fluffy white snow falling to the ground or plain vanilla ice cream.
So why do I like this movie? Well, for starters, I like most of the acting. I think Jake, Andie McDowell as his aunt and Neil Crone all do a good job. Now its not Oscar worthy, but good enough to be nominated for the Hallmark Holiday Movie Awards. The award is a statue of a couple sitting on the couch, the dude is on his phone and the girl is crying into a tub of ice cream.
I also like the story. It doesn’t have any massive pitfalls and doesn’t expect you to accept crazy plot ideas. It’s not art, but on a cold winter night, it will entertain you enough to be enjoyable.
If you are looking a Christmas romance that breaks the mold and keeps you laughing...you should probably look somewhere else.
If you want a movie with with decent acting, a good message and Meg Ruffman...then you should watch Christmas Inheritance.
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